Danger Zone

Well I certainly have my work cut out for me this time. Some of you probably heard me griping this weekend in the 7-11 parking lot or at the PTA Potluck Picnic in the Park (yes, I was invited).

These two losers I’ve been forced to bring on board as Bigs are in way over their head… sure it didn’t help that I assigned each of them one of our more “challenged” Littles … but seriously these two guys should have signs up all over town that says “I am NOT a role model!”

Deep breath, Gayle. If I can wake up every morning and make it through that 20-minute danger zone of everything looking and smelling like cocaine … I can deal with this.

To be honest … I see a little of my old self in the faces of these two young men. Not necessarily the infected, bloodshot eyes of self-loathing or the soft, fuzzy film hair that covers your skin when you haven’t had a nutritious meal in weeks. But simply in the confusion and uncertainty of life … and how it makes them feel trying to even be around these young boys.

Well if that parole agent with the dooky-eating grin was willing to give me a 2nd, 3rd, up to 7th chance, I think I can muster up the cajones to check-shot the BS for their 150 hours of community service. Heck, may be that these two aren’t complete douche-bags and really just need some sturdy wings of their own!

Gayle

PS: and is it me or does this bozo look like Ben Affleck??

Never Say Never

I got a call from a local judge downtown today – a well-built older gentleman to whom I owe several favors. Seems he just handed down a plea bargain sentence to those two jerk wads that almost killed the high school kids with their monster truck rally vehicle of death to 150 hours of community service.

And he wants them to serve it HERE at Sturdy Wings.

Well I can tell you one thing. From a recovered drug addict who used to eat her breakfast from bag of cocaine, I am NOT in the mood for anybody’s BS.

Gayle

LEARN WHY GAYLE LOVES KIDS

Escaping Reality

If there’s one thing I know it’s how to escape reality. Booze. Cocaine. Pills. Physical self-destruction. They’re all the same – ways to avoid looking in the mirror and dealing with the cruel facts of life.

We have a kid here at Sturdy Wings – let’s call him McLonely – that’s fallen into this trap. But it’s not with anything illegal that we can pump out of his stomach. No this is a live action role playing fantasy club called LAIRE – kids and grown adults pretending they’re warriors and wizards and from the past.


It’s hard enough getting a junkie to put down the needle … how do I snatch a foam-covered sword from a boy in a cape that’s practicing his battle moves and get him to listen. He’s gone through six or seven mentors now who just are too scared or amused to do any good.

I hope we get somebody with the motivation to stick it out with him or I fear some 40-year old virgin casting pretend spells at him in the park will be the least of his worries. :(

"My friend superimposed me into this shot with the real virgin, pretty cool!"

Gayle

LEARN GAYLE'S LIFE PHILOSOPHY

Legal Drugs Are Still Addictive

Yesterday, some doped up maniacs nearly killed a whole buttload of kids at a local high school with their amped up monster truck shaped pimped out like a minotaur. They were working for some evil corporation marketing a neon-green “energy drink” on impressionable kids.

Well I tell you this only reinforces our point at Sturdy Wings: that kids need GOOD ROLE MODELS…not some greedy, fat-cat a-holes that have nothing better to do than corrupt the masses into legalized addiction for their own lazy profit.

I make you this promise: jerks like that will never get within ten feet of Sturdy Wings or the kids that are privileged enough to come through our doors every day!

Gayle

Decipher This

After a long day at Sturdy Wings yesterday, I had the most bizarre dream last night. I was on board a Colombian monorail drinking a cola - I think we were chasing a dragon through a blizzard. I was taking my vitamin C, when a white lady named Roxanne sat down to powder her nose. Just then, we hit a bump which sent us all flying into a pile of snow. Growing wings (sturdy wings, perhaps?!?), she pulled out a bazooka and shot a magical brick into the air. It exploded into a purple haze that transported us to a pearly paradise where a scorpion named Scottie was cheering for us, shouting “Yay! Yay!”

At that point, the alarm went off. I was covered in a puddle of sweat, but I felt exhilarated, like I was on some kind of natural buzz.

I think I’ll bring it up as an art project in today’s Gayle Force Wind sessions…

Gayle

WHY I WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Childlike and Proud

They say that the age when you take that first drink or toke or sniff is how emotionally mature you are when you hit sobriety. Guess that explains why I wanted my 40th birthday party at the Putt-N-Stuff!! Which, by the way, was sooo much fun sober!!!!

But I don’t feel bad about that because I believe our guardian angels have a plan for all of us. And the fact that my main interests still revolve around coloring books and corndogs and Barbie dolls and cute boys has quite a lot to do with my success with Sturdy Wings.

How? Because I don’t have to pretend to be interested when I’m servicing these young kids - gazing into their eyes I know when I am meeting their needs. So if you’re like me – intrinsically uncomfortable around anyone over 18 – don’t let anyone make you feel bad about that.

Gayle

WHY I STARTED STURDY WINGS

THE TAO OF SLURPEE

I fancy myself a bit of a street-smarts guru. And late last night, or early this morning rather, I was at the 7-11 mixing up my favorite slushee (guess which candidate cup i chose) when it hit me:

I love my life.

My critics might say a 40-something single gal whose greatest pleasure is a bagel dog and Golden Girls marathon is not something to boast about. I hear it all the time: “Gayle, I'm not so sure I believe that you really love your life." But I honestly doubt those people have ever hit rock bottom and tasted the cold metal of a glock .45 on the back of their throat after breaking into the neighbor’s house looking for smack - that's right, gun to my head, booze in my system, ready to die – if those people that have said that to me so many times knew how far I’ve come – turning addiction into conviction to help others…they might think twice.

But don’t you worry about ole’ Gayle. I’ve learned that instead of letting the naysayers get to me, I take those negative, self-destructive thoughts that sneak up on me at 2am and I channel them right into the morbidly named high-fructose syrup slushee combinations and brain-freeze ‘em right out of my noggin.

That way, come sunrise, I’m right as rain and ready to interact with your kids again!

Gayle

WELCOME TO MY BLOG!

If you had told me ten years ago that I would not only be the CEO of an club that services young boys, but also be writing my own blog on my own website, I would have told you whoa sister, you need to go sniff that BS somewhere else. Which is understandable, since I had the poor self-esteem of a young child whose mother sold sex—and there ain’t no support group for that!

But I would have been incorrect. Because you are reading the words I am writing right now! And that makes me an official blogger!

So here I am...a few more wrinkles and a varicose vein or two...but also the life experience and street cred to really stimulate these boys interests and keep ‘em occupied.

I hope you explore the rest of the site, learn more about the colorful characters that litter our halls and discover what Sturdy Wings is all about.

And check back often to my blog - you might just find the things that come out of this ol’ pie chute will change your life as well!

Gayle